Don't think its coincidence and all but yes, i'm feeling lonely at school and at home.
Not everyday i felt like this, at school it was fine throughout but today its just....that lonely.
My mum went overseas often now due to projects, my dad work till late at night.


I'm always home alone with my dog as company. Its so lonely. No talking, tv not on, footsteps not heard, just the wind blowing at my face and a computer facing me. It hurts, but there is nothing i can do to prevent this. I always have to find things to entertain myself and prevent myself from breaking down.


But being a girl who smile often, i need warmth in my family. I need laughter. This few days its just a cold solid home, where everything is silent. I need family time and definitely friends time.
I've always tried my best to make people happy, but this time nothing can make me happy.
My happiness can only last that long and today its just.....as bad in school.


I tried talking to my friends but it seems that i'm boring..so i didn't talk as much as i did today.
During break, i laugh for a while and that's it.
But i was happy to see my other friends after school :') they make me smile and have fun, most importantly they listen to me even though i repeat it many times. They console me and yes i love them :) 


Everyday after school, i thought, can i not return back to the cold solid home? can i........stay out? as long as there's people around, im fine......


Sometimes life just sucks, although i'm living a good life..all happy and free from worries, having good food, a nice family and home..
But I still feel so empty deep down, so lonely, so........weak.
Right now, i'm in the weakest state that i can ever be in. Time is moving very slowly.
I should be studying but i can't....Just not in the right mood.

I have my own world and now its in darkness, confusion circling in my head, thinking why must it be like this? Why do people take granted of my kindness to them? I really don;t ask much, i'm like a person who wants laughter back to me instead of repayment.


One whom i was disappointed in, shall always be forgotten and forgiven.
I simply can't let go of this mindset..you claim to be the one, but your action speaks otherwise.
You claim to be my light when you were my darkness.
You claim to be my world, promise to lighten my world, but you just turn your back against me.
Thinking ample times is not right, but how can i think that way when you show me otherwise?


So i guess that's today emo post..sorry Bye and have a great week ahead :)